:) Smile Please

I watched a Bengali movie called 'Gandu' (loser). It was really nice particularly because it seems to be a true story. There are so many things that I can do or I have the opportunity to do, but I'm not doing because it's really difficult. I've always thought that It's really easy to live in the past, be good according to the standards of past days. Like in Panchagni, the story of the political rebel, a feminist. I can think about living a life like that because I know about it. But life is not like that. It's about today. It's so different from what our parents saw, what great writers in the past saw. The human reactions may be the same, but the forms are new. And most of the times, we're miss the things that we see right in front of us because our heads are filled with the great stories of past. It's one thing I hate. May be we won't become great and well-known and it's not that important to be. But the little roles that we need to do in this life we need to do that. It's really okie to be a lizard of the nature, if we are ones. Be open towards the society around you, people around you. Be courageous to be a cowards. That's better than the pseudo- courage that I put on. :)

Life, It's beautiful if we are guided by us.

Phyics :- Force

Have you thought about gravitational force?

I don't remember where my chain of thoughts began. I think I was thinking about love. But I ended in force, and the way something pushes itself, somethings pulls another thing. I was wondering how can you say that it's not I pushing myself and that it is another thing pulling me. Like earth pulling me towards itself. How can you say that I'm not pushing myself from the earth?

I know I may be thinking stupid. But is the fact that someone is thinking in itself the most important? Oh, now i remember why I thought about force...

So I was thinking how everything on earth had an objective. Like the most dangerous poisonous substances have the duty to kill. I know, but don't you think that causing death is one of the most important features of life on earth? I mean if there's no death, then there won't be any life also, right? So what wrong with killing something? But that was not I was thinking, I was thinking if some substance has the ability to make you think, then why do you brand taking them as immoral? And not worth of learning?

So I was thinking about the ability of some substance to take you to the reason of something, make you ask the reason for the need to acting or not acting in a particular way etc? That's why I thought about the force, the force that takes you to the root? force.. gravitational force!! Oh, my god. You know everything fundamental has to be in public domain. Haahahaaahaaaa. Because you cannot exploit the reason!!! Seriously, isn't amazing that we discovered something like a invisible gravitational force?? Why can't we fly? Really why can't we fly?

I've never asked these fundamental questions except when I'm not like this!!!!!

F=ma, mass and acceleration. Can't you imagine them?

Friends and NUJS

My friend Sonal is writing a paper on rights of transexual and Sonal, Shriti and I were discussing about the issue at length in the afternoon. I've not seen Shriti arguing and sharing her thoughts about some thing that has to do with academics till now and the experience in room was very unique and passionate. I was thinking how lovely is to have people like Sonal and Shriti in life and then I suddenly realised that we are the RSS gang. We've made this gang to talk about weird thinks about sex, and here we are ,advocating for rights of transexual. The feeling was really different, it was not the normal kind of discussions and heated debates that we used to have in sociology classes. I felt that they're really going to fight for transexual's rights and ask those rights from the government and society. The other day Sonal was telling me how transexual rights are not recognized by the society and how she wants to be friends with transexuals. I was so excited about it, like talking to them like you talking to your friends, sharing their ideas, problems and happiness and all. OMG!!! that was just amazing, and knowing the kind of person Sonal is, I can bet you that she can be best friends with them.

I don't know, I've the feeling that we are all going to be those persons that we all like to be. Like Sonal is really weird and likes all the things in the world, and believes that everything is the way it has to be. You know, I was watching an interview about Bharathan, and one of the greatest lyricist in the Malayalam film industry O N V was telling how for Bharathan could place everything, however strange those may be, in a way that would take away its strangeness.

I like my college now and I realized that I don't belong to the mainstream culture (if I can term it like that) which is about mooting, debating and preparing for highly remunerative jobs. We had our NUJS Night last night, I realized that all the lame joke that guy who was doing the compering was cracking was about studies and moot. But we are so different and I like the difference!!!!!

Poster from Soviet

The idiot

" I was insufferably sad,

I wanted to cry,

I was all the while lost in wonder and uneasiness

What affected me most was that everything was strange,

I realized that I was crushed by the strangeness of it"

- The Idiot, Dostoevsky

Well... I want to live in peace.

I can never agree with Adam Smith. I think he, just like his theories of comparative advantage, never focused on overall development of the world-nations and individuals. I don't know if he ever thought about over- production. I don't know if he wanted to include risks of exploitation of human and other resources in his theory. I don't know if he imagined the world to be a single entity and self sufficient in that way or he just wanted to publish papers. I hate the approach of ' ceteris paribus' ( all other things being constant).

Whatever…

I think, now the world is in a mess, or rather individual freedom/autonomy is in a mess. Just like in earlier times specialization in labour is forcing people to take up a singular commitment. I don't know. Four years of walking up and down the streets of Calcutta, I still don't understand them, their language, their needs, their fears , their joys... My college just expects me to concentrate on this 'island of excellence' or other 'islands of excellence'. (When everyone uses that word to mean centre of excellence, I use that word to mean a desolate place packed with intelligent people). Even the so- called- artists now confine themselves to their opium dungeons or commercial success. And everyone, I think, regrets the fate that gave them no chance to make choices or for being so coward as I am.

Or does this happen when we live by ourselves? Maybe. And I hate Adam Smith. I think we really have to rethink about the new foundational economic principles of the society. Or do we love having problems, being exploited or love to tolerate slavery? No. No.

heaven is just a minute away

When you are forced to be at a place,

A place where you are not able to love,

Run. Run in your mind. Run all the miles,

Run until you reach the heaven.

It's like the visual effect in the screen.

May be we won't share it like we do in the cinema hall,

But the heaven is only a minute away,

Close your eyes, or let it be open

But cry, cry silently, no one should know.

And you're there. There in heaven.

And think something about the person who you know the most,

All your thoughts would be true.

Everything. Especially your love.