Samathwam ennorashayam marikkilla bhoomiyil

"pokuvaan namukku eere dhooramudathorkkuvin 
vazhipizhachu poyidathe mizhithelichu nokkuvin
neeru neeridan karuthu nedanam, nirashayil
veenidathe neerinayi poruthuvan kuthikkanam"

I feel a milder version of this

This is what I used to feel. Now I've lost myself so much that I've nothing in me to save by going somewhere.  This college makes me feel that I'm a loser. A complete loser. I have no faith in myself now. I don't have anything within me to have faith in it.  All I had, I've lost them. A journey is coming to end. I'll go back. Back to where I came from.  Back to the things that here have no good value. 

I watched Nolan's third Batman. Okay. Confession. I never got time or opportunity to read any comics or watch those. But then, while I was watching Batman yesterday, I was screaming to the batman that you can't say that your city is safe because you've put all the criminals behind the bars. Haha. What a joke!!! And I didn't know half the things they were saying because I didn't know what happened eight years ago, why Wayne became orphan etc etc. I mean I still don't know. All I know is I don't want to put my faith in a billionaire and believe that he would take care of everything. And believe in his sense of justice and a justice which is often equated to non-violence (if I'm not mistaken). Chap, I live in the country where Gandhi lived...not happening man....I always hated when I could not control my life especially I had to live at the mercy of someone.  May be I should not take Batman serisously.....

I know I’m not getting married in the church,

Not because I hate churches but ‘coz my legs won’t stand those long hours of blind ceremonies,

And I’m not very sure if it’s worth it,

I’m not very sure if I would ever stick to someone all my life.

Mind you, I’m not even asking my folks for any money for my wedding,

I fucking don’t know why we need to.

I want to be a little impressive in life and I know beauty holds its wonders,

but I’m more worried about dying in a hospital,

I can’t bare the smell of its depressing air.

I never wanted to live just to see or hear or read beautiful things,

I still don’t want to.

I don’t know if I want to live now,

I love the statue of Jesus in Rio. 

Watched "Classmates" again. How can a movie be so beautiful and perfect? OMG. 

daydream delusion

limousine eyelash

oh baby with your pretty face

drop a tear in my wine glass

look at those big eyes on your face

see what you mean to me

sweet cakes and milk shakes

I’m a delusion angel

I’m a fantasy parade

I want you to know what I think

don’t want you to guess anymore

you have no idea where I came from

we have no idea where we’re going

lodged in life like two branches in a river

caught in the current

flowing downstream

I’ll carry you    you carry me

that’s how it could be

don’t you know me

don’t you know me by now…

The language I speak,

Becomes mine, its distortions, its queernesses

All mine, mine alone.

It is half English, halfIndian, funny perhaps, but it is honest,

It is as human as I am human, don’t

You see? It voices my joys, my longings, my

Hopes, and it is useful to me as cawing

Is to crows or roaring to the lions, it

Is human speech, the speech of the mind that is

Here and not there, a mind that sees and hears and

Is aware - Kamala Suryya