Home and an independent self

It's been really really hard. Because I'm fortunate to have a home of really wonderful, free-thinking and obviously complicated people, it's so difficult to give myself my real self identity. I feel worth living when I'm at home. It makes me feel that there are so many things that I should do.  It's always struggling without repenting. I'm never disillusioned when I'm at home but always when I'm at this stupid place.  Home is really awesome and I never get bored there. I get bored in all other places.  But I can't tie myself to my parents (un)safe haven anymore. I ought to have an identity of myself. And to segregate what I really want and what I'm just doing is really difficult. Because half the things I do here is to escape from this place which is always strange and alien to me.

I need to get out from here. I'm ready for anything :) (just have to regain my bloody health and the awesome  immunity I always had)